All In A Days Work??? Not Even Close....

I want to make it very clear I am writing this in pure love, coming from the very core of me.
I get so fed up with people and their shortcomings. I am one who EASILY gets hurt and is affected just as easy by negative things. So when I am disrespected, ignored, talked down to, forgotten, and gossiped about, I am torn into pieces instantly. I will feel things much deeper on something someone said/did than the next person will, I am so insecure. Chalk it up to growing up in that treatment and for most of my adult life, even now at certain times with certain people. I have made this known to pretty much everyone I have known, yet there a ones out there that simply don't care.
I deeply believe in respect. Some, to me, just don't always deserve it. I know that might sound harsh and judgmental, but that's not how it is at all. It doesn't mean I don't LOVE them, or will be rude. However, they have done too much negativity to others and or me to just not deserve the respect they almost demand. Of course, if they treated me with the very same respect they want from everyone and others THEY feel are "top notch" then I am more than willing to open myself to them again. If not, well, then we will go round and round with great distance between us. If you are snotty, stuck up, judgmental, rude, cold, on a high horse, keep it to yourself. Do not take it out on me. My shoulders are not there for your insecurities and crap. I will not take it and hold it for you, I just won't.
What is it about some people that makes them think you, everyone, and the world OWES them??? Is it just being hurt too much in life?? Are they just desperate to feel complete in all the wrong ways?? I think possibly, but I don't quite know for sure. I relate those questions to myself, and can answer them on my behalf, and I can only image they are similar for others. If maybe I knew what in the heck others think and feel and WHY then letting go of how they have treated and continue to treat me would be so much easier to do. As you can probably tell I have a tough time with forgiveness. Not in the sit and be mad, complain, and hold a grudge way. I am the type that will be doing something, anything, or nothing at all and will feel the sadness of all those negative things and how they have torn at me, and I just cry. At times I feel it so strong like the offence JUST happened and I get so dang mad that someone felt they had the RIGHT to do that to me and to infringe on MY agency. Believe it or not, when you treat others in disrespect, it does indeed attack ones free agency. I have my agency and I do not want to be stepped on and tossed aside like a little piece of garbage. Even if you do think of me that way, there is no right that belongs to you to attack my agency. Not in this world or the next.
Once the anger subsides, then the sadness is left and for some reason I can't dissolve it. You know when you clean a window and it can't seem to get completely clean and there's those little smears here and there that just won't go away? That's what it's like for me. I continue to turn to the Atonement of my Savior, and I always will. As I continue to grow in  motherhood and womanhood maybe I can see and understand each single thread that makes that great Atonement and allow it to wipe clean that glass before me, then clear and bright might, just might, be my sight and soul.
Until then, no matter how, stupid, pathetic, hypocritical, lame and bad YOU might think I am, remember you will be judged on those thoughts and actions. You are not perfect either and you know it. Deal with your shortcomings and let me deal with mine. I am STILL working hard to piece back together my childhood and who I was and wasn't. As you can see, I have a lot to catch up on and it might take me eternity to do so. So, just back off and turn inside yourself instead of on me. Right now, get it straight, you do not have any right to say and do what you do and have always done. Not to me or anyone, not at any time!
These words and my feelings are not up for debate or open for conversation. Feelings are not something that  anyone and everyone gets to sit and judge and decide if they think they are right or not. It does not work that way. It's not your way or the highway. If any of this offends you then I can only imagine it's because you are guilty of something I have spoken of. And we have all been guilty at one time or another and we all know it is simply just wrong.

Four kids and not one broken bone...until now :-(
My baby boy is the most physical, rambunctious, energetic, get into and on to everything child I have ever seen in my life. And here is the result...

And this was Christian the entire time it was broken, climbing on everything and playing non stop.

Waiting for the doctor to mold the splint.

He thought it was some freakish alien object.

Giving mom hi 5's ;-) Such a good spirited little boy. I'm so glad he is healing well and fast. I'm positive the entire experience was more frightening to mommy.

A Ride In The Park

These two little girls have been so excited to take their new bikes out since we had to exchange their other ones we got them for Christmas. Every time we'd pull up in the garage they'd oooo and awe at the pretty tassels on the handle bars and comment on how pretty they are. So I thought it was time, even if I did freeze. 

SO ready to cruze!

Their rides, all set up pretty so they could watch them as they played. They sure make me laugh.

A little play time and they sure kept their eyes on those bike so NO one would take them.

I thought this was cute, they wanted to hold hands going down the slide so if one or the other went faster than the other they could pull on their arm to slow them down. ;--)

My baby girl.

The one that's growing up way too fast.

All done now and taking extra care of their bikes and settling their babies in just like Dad does with his bike.

I love taking time with my girls daily and doing something, even if for a short little bit, and just be.

30 and 10 at heart ;-)

After Christmas, the girls wanted to take their new bikes out and ride to the park. Once we got there I chased the girls all around and through the playground and was a kid again myself. I big dorky one.

Yes that is me doing the much fun and loved Penny Drop. I'm a 10 year old all over again. I love playing with my girls and running and chasing them. They are my little lovelies and they keep me young at heart.

Love is upon us.

I know many who think Valentines is stupid and an unneeded holiday and it's ONLY for businesses to make more money. I do not agree. Some of us need a reminder and an opportunity to give love more concentrated. Who doesn't need more love, honestly? It doesn't have to come in the form of chocolate, flowers, or teddy bears. I like to find a way to show it and share it in a REAL manner. Oh and it's nice for the spouse to do it that way too ;-). I love my children endlessly and plan to SHOW them and not just tell them. My husband, well he knows what I always say, "If you love me, Show me. I'd rather to never hear the words again but for you to show me instead." ;-) I too must do this. And since my diet doesn't have room for chocolate it will be that much easier lol I think to concentrate on love is to give it without hesitation and to SEE it without conditions. Can you tell I made a new resolution this year? ;-)

Temple Square and Christmas catch up.

I just took this pic with the new camera phone and wanted to add it ;-)

All bundled up to see the lights at Temple Square! We love going as a family, walking around Temple Square seeing the lights and sights, and having some hot chocolate when the night is done.

These two always have such a fun time even though it's freezing, always in good spirits.

Christmas morning! The kids were wide eyed and it was fun having our first Christmas in our new home :-) Dylan went straight over to his Santa gifts, sat down, and was ready to open!

Dylan's Santa gifts. May be small but there's a lot of goodness in that box!

It was nice to hear Dylan tell his grandpa over the phone that he had a great Christmas and that he got everything he wanted and more. I was nervous he wouldn't be into some of the things we got him, they are much harder to shop for the older they get ;-)

This is really the only good shot of the tree and gifts that I got. It was a good Christmas indeed.

The girls Santa gifts, they were so excited for their new bikes and pillow pets! We had to actually take those bikes back and get bigger ones. Kinda stunk too because Santa got these bikes for next to nothing but the new bigger ones he wasn't so lucky on. Oh well.

Sadee could have stayed there all day and just stared at it all if we would have let her ;-)

She loves that dragon, seriously taking it EVERYWHERE she goes.

Thanks babe for the much unwanted early morning picture ;-) I had a lot of fun watching the expressions on the girls faces when unveiling their bikes.

Mine, Christian, and Kendall's Santa gifts. Christian darted to his V-Tech train the instant he saw it and literally walked over everyone to get to it. He knew it was his instantly!

He really does worship those Cheetos like that, loves them!

Okay okay, so I happen to feel the same about my Dove Dark chocolates.

During our break from opening presents and getting some delicious cinnamon rolls and eggnog, the girls noticed Santa tried their cookies they made and left our for him.

This is such a great learning toy and it occupies him for hours. Worth it's weight in gold if you ask me ;-)

And this was Christian's big gift from mom and dad and it was so worth it! I got it at 1/4 the normal cost and he loves it. At first he was a bit scared seeing how it moves and is bigger than him but now I think we have a natural little cowboy.

After gift opening relaxation, I have no idea why they thought it would be better in a box but they sure were cute.

We had a wonderful Christmas and not because of the store bought presents, the lights, or Christmas trees. It is a wonderful thing to have a big family that loves one another dearly, traditions that warm us from inside out. children to share the holiday with and watch to the hope and excitement in their eyes, and for the most humble birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. He is the gift of all gifts there ever has been and ever will be. His birth to His resurrection, He is what the holidays are all about and He is the spirit, joy, and much happiness we feel. Until next year everyone, Merry Christmas and a healthy happy New Year!

What Woman Really Want: Real Friends

Whenever a women's expo or craft fair comes to town, it always makes me laugh at the booths listing wares that we as women are supposedly desperately wanting: goat lather soap, Zumba workouts, Montana-made syrup, and so on. And though I love to do Zumba in the shower while eating pancakes, I'm pretty sure what I really want is not at the expo.

Unless I'm with my friends.

In the last 11 years — while living in four states, three time zones and five homes — I have had a ton of experience making and keeping friends. Across this great continent, I’ve observed that I have consistently needed five types of friends to keep me sane and balanced.

First off, I trust your husband is hopefully your friend — best friend, even. However, he is not, never will be and never should be your all-in-one everything. No person should ever be burdened with fulfilling your every need, wish and whim for companionship. You will still need other women, both older and younger, to mentor you, serve you and look up to you.

1. My favorite and dearest friend is the Old Friend variety, who is like your favorite T-shirt: comfy, worn-in and, no matter what your mood, totally appropriate. This Old Friend knows your crazy family history and can write a pamphlet on why you are the way you are and how they like you anyway.
   She’s probably seen you in your underwear, heard you sobbing over the phone or held you while you despaired over new-mom woes. You don’t have to worry about being far away because, somehow across the miles or around the block, you are still best friends and comfortable in whatever state your friendship is in.
   Here's something to note: Sisters make great Old Friends.
2. Another essential friend is the Deep Friend. She’s the one who is like a therapist, only cheaper — and probably happy to eat ice cream with you as you delve into what makes a marriage really groovy.
   The Deep Friend is perfectly at peace with dissecting your family background and how that formed the person you are now. She loves discussing the world; religion; and how to have a better, happier and richer life. She is worth her weight in gold — or Prozac.
3. Your Mentor Friend is often the age of an older siblings or even your mother. Even though she might say the same things your mother does, you don’t roll your eyes or search for the number to the local mental hospital. It sounds so right and true and a lot less annoying coming from the Mentor Friend. You mother probably sends her a script, but who cares? The Mentor Friend commiserates and validates your concerns.
   The Mentor Friend says, “I’ve been there,” without sounding condescending. She watches your children because she misses her own and she makes sure to remind you often to make time for yourself. Sure, she might be slightly outdated when you compare her to all your hipster sisters, but the Mentor is one irreplaceable friend.
   A subset of the Mentor Friend is the Younger (Sister) Friend. To her, you are the mentor and the voice of reason when all pooh breaks loose with small children. As the Mentor Friend, you get to share your hard-earned lessons, helping steer the Younger Friend toward the light at the end of the nursing or toddler tunnel. It is insanely rewarding to share the small tidbits of wisdom that someone once delivered to you when you were buried under laundry and sporting under-eye bags the size of Manhattan.
4. Our next friend is one of my current favorites: the Surprise Friend. Finding this person is like visiting your local thrift store looking for a cool Halloween costume and you find J.Crew pants for $2. Surprise Friends are like sprinkles on the cake of life: colorful and unexpected.
   The Surprise Friend is the one you meet at a play group or school meeting and your first reaction is that you have nothing in common and she probably has socks that cost more than your entire wardrobe.
   Then you find out, as time goes on, that she’s not as shallow or weird as you originally thought and the notion of spending time with her sitting on a park bench watching your children hang by their toes doesn’t make you gag or feel like getting a root canal. You find that the Surprise Friend is actually funny. And smart! And not shallow! And she’s even willing to share her gold-plated socks!
5. The last and most-important friend you can have is one that took me many moons to collect. She’s one that many don’t realize is a necessity. It’s You.
   You should be one of your closest friends — and no, Dr. Phil did not pay me to say that. I hope that little voice in your head is like a great coach and not the mean girls from 6th grade, inherently critical and smarmy.
   I’ve trained myself to control my inner dialogue so that when I lose it and holler at one of my children for hitting their sibling (again) my first response is not, “You’re a loser mother,” but instead, “You will do better next time.”
   Some women still feel this adolescent need to always be with someone, texting someone or planning daily mommy play dates. But it’s OK to just be — to be with yourself and your thoughts and have awkward conversations like:
   You: “Hi.” Self: “Hi.” You: “How ar—” Self: “Fine.” You: “Are you going to work out at th—” Self: “Eh, probably not.” You: “Really? You know how good you feel afterw—” Self: “I know. I should... OK, I’ll go.” You: “Awesome! You're gonna lose 10 pounds!”
   Awkward, yes. Helpful? Double yes.
   And though I am a certified extrovert who has a habit of slightly oversharing and is a lover of people, I think many women need these distinct relationships to make their lives richer and happier.

Are these five friend styles the only ones suitable for sustaining a healthy friend closet? No. Is it necessary to collect friends like charm bracelets? Unless you're in 6th grade, no.

But I do know that it has taken many types of women over many years to help me be a better person, a better mother, a better wife. I need them. I need their wisdom, their laughter and their genuine humanity to rub off on me.

And that is far more useful that goat lather soap.

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Elizabeth loves embarrassing her children and making others laugh. She currently resides in Montana among beautiful scenery, long winters and an incredible array of hairy animals.

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